We are all in the same boat. I get it. No, like I truly get it! There will always be someone, somewhere that is worse off than I am. I know that. I'm speaking from my own current experiences in hopes that these words can help you in this time of insanity.
My current situation includes two school aged children that I am trying to home school and one toddler that I am trying to keep busy, or maybe the other way around. I'm working remotely about 50-60 hours a week, keeping up with the housework and still trying to stay alive. Staying sane. Is there such a thing? I've contemplated if this is possible.
I've broken down with rivers of tears. I've had a short fuse with my children. I'm irritable and frustrated. I'm worried about the economy and what the future holds. Who's with me? I mean, have you ever had to teach a child math when you don't even understand it yourself? Oh please help me.
In the midst of my own periodic breakdowns, I've thought long and hard about how I can become a better mom, better wife, better business person and better me. Here are a few tips that I hope help you in the very near future with your life to staying sane.
Tip #1: Walk away.
When it feels like the world is going to crumble and you feel this heaviness on your chest, just walk away. Your children will be fine if you step away for 5 minutes. The world will not fall apart in those 5 minutes. Walk outside or hide in a closet or bathroom (I've done all of the above) take deep breaths and close your eyes. Focus on your breath and think about what's really worth having anxiety over. Are you alive? Are you healthy? Are you safe? You. Can. Do. This.
Tip #2: Focus on what they really want.
Prioritize what your kids really want. Set as many boundaries as you can (I know its hard when they are small). Give them things to occupy them and then give them individualized time with you. Most of the time if a child is acting out - it's because they want your attention.
Tip #3: Don't reach for the Doritos.
My kids like to snack. When it's there and I see it, I do to. When I am stressed, I grab the closest snack and chow down. Then I hate myself for doing it later. Why did I eat all of those chips? Ugh. Instead, try a tablespoon of peanut butter or a fruit.
Tip #4: It's okay to loose your shit.
Just don't loose your shit in front of your kids. Do it when they are asleep or somewhere where they can't see you. I'm guilty of my kids seeing me with red eyes and a pile of tissues. They understand more than you think. Once they go to bed, take a nap or can be content for a few minutes: let it ALL out. You will feel better. Don't hold it in. The stress will keep adding up until you blow up like one of those cartoon characters.Children need to see emotion but in my own personal opinion - they want to know you are strong. Freak out (by yourself) and then you can focus on being strong for them.
Tip #5: Phone a friend.
I've built this tribe (yes, I used the word tribe) of women that I trust and respect. There is no judgement in this tribe. None. Build your tribe. If your circle includes people who are judgmental of others - find a new circle of friends. You will thank me later.
We are as strong as these palm trees. We will withstand this storm.
I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you to death. If you have read this far (yay and thank you) then you may also know - you know what to do. Deep down, we all know what we need to do. Sometimes, we just need to be held accountable for our actions to starting getting in line with our goals and future selves. I hope you found this helpful! Stay strong my friend. You will make it through this. You have to.